Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
