Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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