do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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