All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
