made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
