I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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