Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize