Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
