It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize