it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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