You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
two words: eviction party
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
