i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
