Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
