Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
