He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
