I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i don't like sucking hair
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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