Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
