You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
