It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
