I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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