Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
