We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
