And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
