so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
