C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize