hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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