i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
