What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
