So drunk its hurt
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
