You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
