Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
