I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
