Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize