I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
