Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
