kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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