I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
