well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
