we have officially lost it.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
