just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
