You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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