he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
