I wanna bring you to show and tell
Your dad touched me again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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