I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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