goodnight i made you a song goodbye
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
