hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
