he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
