Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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