redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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