this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize