I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
