ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
