i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i've created a new STD.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
