Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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