Need sex. Gaining weight.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
