Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize