We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
