guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
