I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
