We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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