I think I died a long time ago.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
