I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
