this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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