There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
