ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
